trainer

since it's been so nasty outside, i've taken to using a trainer.  when i was in cross country i used to try and run on my parent's treadmill, but i couldn't stand it.  i am hoping the trainer is better, but i still fear that i won't be able to make it.  it's not the physical strain at all, it's just the boredom and the mental battle.  

i suppose we'll see... but even if i only get on for 10 minutes that's 10 minutes more than i'd be pedaling otherwise.

sad

you know culture has f*cked you over when you think boys are only interested in you for your body AND you think you are totally unattractive.

i'll spare the blabber about the mutual exclusiveness of these two things and just say that sadly you aren't even close to the first person i've known to feel both of them deeply.

it's been a while

sorry for the delay, to the 3 of you who actually read this.  sometimes i get on writing kicks and sometimes i get on not writing kicks.  i don't want to just sum up what has been going on, because that won't do my thoughts justice, so i'll try to get in some time recapping later.  for now, i dreamt last night that i was at this party, trying to pick up on how to play a game i had never heard of.  i was trying to understand the point of the game, but i couldn't grasp it.  of course since this is my dream, my brain is the one making up the rules, and my brain is the one that can't figure out how it's played.  that's a trip, eh?

new year, new changes

i decided to spend new years by myself.  i climbed the scaffolding of an 8 story building being renovated by my apt to get on the roof.  the plan was to take pictures of the fireworks at midnight, but they ended up being cancelled on account of the wind.  while i really wanted some fireworks shots, i still got some good pictures of the city.  climbing up to the top was a thrill.  i haven't gotten any good heights in my blood in a while.  even though i had my harness and i was clipping myself in, i was still shaking a little from the exposure.  all in all it was a good time.  of course i didn't have to climb back down, i just walked down the stairs and unlocked a window on the first floor.

in other news, i am no longer canvassing.  saturday was my last day to ever knock on anyone's door.  while i am concerned as to where i'm going to get the income to cover it, i don't regret at ALL not having to do it anymore.  i am so sick of hearing 20-30+ people every night feeding me one line or another about not being able to get involved in protecting our waterways.  so until further notice (hopefully not too further) i am only working 3 days a week as the office manager.

tonight was also my last night as the president of velocipede.  boson was elected and will now be taking over.  i'm kind of relieved to no longer have to mess with it, but at the same time i really enjoyed the position.  i suppose i can always run again another year, but for the time being i guess i need to devote my time to finding a job anyway, eh?